I really didn’t want to get out and walk today. I don’t know what the high was, but I never saw it come out of the 20s. I’ve had some persistent knee pain from my first run in the snow. I just didn’t want to! But, I did anyway. I got to halfway, and I said to myself “this really isn’t too bad.” It wasn’t until the last rep that I felt like dying. That’s a major improvement! I really credit my feeling-goodness to doing workout activities every day. I don’t do the same thing every day, but I’m keeping those muscles moving. I’m going to repeat Week 1 (Week 1 reprised!), but I’m fairly certain that I could move on to week 2 if I wanted. Still, I like success, and it seems that I’ll feel more successful redoing week 1 before continuing. My mantra for week one is still “anyone can do anything for just a minute. It’s just a minute!” I posted on FB today about how I’m only covering about 1.5 miles during my “5k” run because I’m a turtle in molasses. So many people commented to tell me how proud they were of me and how well I’m doing. So, I’m just going to keep in mind the necklace that my friend B posted a few weeks ago. It was a turtle and two little circles. The first circle said “13.1” meaning of course it was for a half marathon. The second circle said “my race, my pace.” That’s the part I like. It’s my run. No matter if I am running a 22 minute mile (which I currently am) or a 6 minute mile (maybe one day who knows)…a mile is still a mile. It’s my run, and I’m proud to be doing it.
I had a ton of “know it all” thoughts today, most of which no longer seem important enough to share. That’s the bad thing about being a thinker. You think over things so much that by the time you get to where you can put the thoughts down, you’ve overthought them and they matter less. The biggest thing I’ve thought about today is how I’m not terribly happy that I moved my wedding date back. Originally, I wanted to get married in October 2013. My Lovebug proposed on March 16, and I just didn’t think that was enough time to get everything together. I hadn’t done much planning by that time, and I didn’t know that really I could have. So, I set the date for April 26, 2014. But, there are some financial implications with Lovebug and I getting married, and as a “just in case” scenario, we decided to move it back. Originally we moved it back a whole year, but I just couldn’t take that. We had only been dating 6 months when we got engaged. We knew from the first week we were dating that we would be getting married (we even discussed it lol). I hated having a long engagement. I was so mad at all the financial crap. So, I compromised and moved it to October 5. Still in 2014, but long enough to where Lovebug will be in school and hopefully the financial things will be taken care of by then. Even if they’re not, we’ll find a way to make it work.
I still hate that our engagement is so long. I know all these people that got engaged after us and are getting married before. I just have to keep telling myself it’s not a race. Everyone has their own timeline that is right for them. Ours just happened to be a little longer- but at least he didn’t wait to propose haha. Really, only two things will change when we get married. First, my last name 🙂 (which is a whole other deal- wondering how to change my last name in the middle of the first semester next year if I’m teaching). Second, taxes. We’ll be filing jointly instead of me filing as single (he doesn’t currently file taxes). Everything else stays the same. We still live together. We still see his (our) son every other weekend (hopefully more as he gets older and summers are here and whatnot). We still grocery shop, play video games, and fight about silly things like who gets to unload the dishwasher. We still love each other beyond measure. Marriage is a legal contract- a piece of paper. I get a pretty new ring (and it’s beautiful…and pink!). Our love doesn’t need a contract to be love. He stole my heart when I wasn’t even looking. He makes me feel safe and protected. He holds me when I cry, even though sometimes I don’t even know why I’m crying. He tells me I’m beautiful when I’m covered in sweat, when I haven’t showered for 3 days, when I’m sick and in bed and covered in snot. He is my best friend, and none of this will change because we get married. Life is not a race- we all have to do things on our own schedule and terms. I get upset because I can’t wait to be his wife, and I wish it’d come faster, but really, it’s just a party. I’m already his. He’s already mine. I know God has brought us together, and what God has brought together, no man shall part. So I’m a little more okay with our wedding having been moved back. I’m just going to take that extra six months and work on being healthy. Healthy for me, pretty for the wedding dress that doesn’t quite fit yet, healthy for our family pictures we’re taking in April or May, healthy for him- to be here with him until God takes us home. ❤